Ok, I feel a little bad… I haven’t done one of my usual big awards show wrap ups. I’m sorry, this week is crazy. I’m prepping for a short film shoot that I’m acting in and producing, so I’m a bit all over the place… Anywho, I can’t leave ya’ll without some hilarious commentary… I mean who can forget the ridiculous 80′s shoulder pad dresses that were foolishly on display everywhere at the show? Bad fashions and hair (ahem, Miss Scarlett Johansson) were, unfortunately, all over the place. At least there were great winners (Colin Firth, Annette Bening, Chris Colfer, Jane Lynch, Glee, Diane Warren, Jim Parsons, Melissa Leo, etc), wonderful speeches (Colfer and Lynch again), a lot of hotness (Chris Hemsworth, Chris Pine, Zac Efron and Matt Bomer oh my!) and Ricky Gervais going balls to the wall with aggressive hilarity. But for even more in-depth look at the show, check out the post from my friend Johnny Lopez on his blog “The Johnny Lopez”. You might recognize him from the pages of Us Weekly too… um, as a commentator not a drunken naked celebrity people! … So, enjoy and add Johnny’s blog to your favorites too!
Johnny Lopez on the 2011 Golden Globes
Things learned watching the 2011 Golden Globes:
1. Nolan Miller must be dressing Hollywood again because I haven’t seen that many shoulder pads, sequins and sparkle since Dynasty’s Moldavian massacre.
2. I’m going to miss Ricky Gervais.
3. Christina Aguilera needs a water pill.
4. Tilda Swinton and Helena Bonham Carter need a reality show together.
5. With wins by Glee, Chris Colfer, Jane Lynch, Jim Parsons, Burlesque, Kids Are All Right, Annette Bening, and Scott Rudin, the Globes were so gay (and I mean that in a great way!) they made the Tonys look like a Yes on 8 rally.
6. Natalie Portman’s laugh will haunt your nightmares.
7. No matter what Sandy says, Scarlett Johansson and Sandra Bullock were kept on opposite ends of the telecast for a reason.
8. “Social Network” will probably win an Oscar, as MySpace gets ready to fold. It’s crazy how things change in 5 years … just ask Jennifer Lopez’s career.
As always, send me your thoughts and comments to email@example.com
Ricky Gervais – Anyone who has the balls to make a joke about closeted Scientologists on national television is ok in my book. That being said, someone let me know if his body surfaces.
Scarlett Johansson – Taylor Swift chic with a Franken-updo. Apparently Ryan Reynolds got to keep all the style in the divorce.
Christian Bale – Completely forgot he’s British. You gotta love a guy who isn’t afraid to have the exact same hairdo as his wife.
Katey Sagal – Peg Bundy looks hot… her dress not so much. Anyone know where her sisters, the “Double Trouble” twins, are?
Julianne Moore – Molly Ringwald wants her “Pretty in Pink” prom dress back.
That guy who played “Carlos’ – hot!
Leighton Meester – Didn’t Crystal Gayle wear the exact same thing to the CMAs in 1974? Country WRONG.
Chris Colfer/Glee – Congrats. Hopefully it really does get better from here.
Eva Longoria – The Anti-Scarlett Johansson … divorce never looked so good. Flawless.
Kevin Bacon – Six degrees of the Social Network …remove Kev’s glasses and he becomes Jesse Eisenberg.
Milla Jovovich – There must be another “Resident Evil” coming out this year because that’s the only time you ever see her.
Steve Buscemi – or John Waters with a weave?
Elizabeth Moss – from Mad Men to the Hillary Clinton biopic.
Christina Hendricks – With her porcelain skin, scarlet hair and huge breasts, Christina managed to find the perfect dress to …blend into the red carpet.
Jennifer Lopez – This is what a triple threat looks like in this economy. Singer/dancer/REALITY SHOW JUDGE!
Diane Warren – What the hell happened to Adam Lambert? I had no clue Diane was in “Party Monster.” Club kid realness!
Trent Reznor – you know Goth is over when even Nine Inch Nails has turned into a frat boy. Head like a a-hole.
Justin Bieber – The original choice to play Annette Bening’s character in “The Kids are All Right.”
Robert Downey Jr – It’s the Globes, not a wedding. Put on a tux.
Annette Bening – She obviously shares a hairstylist with Al Pacino.
Sylvester Stallone – If he keeps it up, his face is going to start looking like Nicole Kidman’s.
Tilda Swinton – Rockin’ the new GapMormon Sister Wives chic … for men.
Al Pacino – Somebody call Jack Kevorkian and put an end to the misery of his endless speech.
Claire Danes – Did she win for playing Temple Grandin or Carol Brady?
Temple Grandin – Can she come to every award show… just because? You know, like Jennifer Love Hewitt does.
Zac Efron – Roids much?
Tina Fey & Steve Carrel – Funnier than “Date Night.”
Chris Hemsworth & Chris Evans – Is it me or is Evans a lot less hot standing next to Hemsworth? Team Thor!
Olivia Wilde – Out of this world. No really. If you squint you can see the Little Dipper.
Jane Fonda – Fresh from a nip/tuck and wearing remnants of Carol Burnett’s Norma Desmond curtain dress.
Matt Bomer – Gay eyes.
Jim Parsons – Gay eyes with a little Mad Magazine’s Alfred E. Neumann.
Melissa Leo – Unrecognizable. Like Zoe Saldana in “Avatar”, no one will know Melissa is the mom in The Fighter. Where were the sisters???
Robert De Niro – No wonder the Fockers sucks, he’s not funny! Gervais gets all the flack but he’s the one who made a lame racist joke. Deport him!
Megan Fox – Sorry but no matter how many gowns and jewels you throw on “4 AM Angelina Jolie,” she still looks like she should be cooking meth in a San Bernardino Super 8.
Halle Berry – The Curious Case of Halle Berry. How does she do it? Half-Black don’t crack either!
Paul Giamatti – Stole the award from my Jake!
Natalie Portman – Forget the win, the dress and the baby, it’s all about the crazy Portman LAUGH. Awkward! I want it to be my ring tone. And she thanked everyone in her cast except … Winona! Stay away from any nail files, Nat.
Winona Ryder – Was not present to pick up her award for best comedic performance by a sometime actress.
Nicole Kidman – the only bump she hasn’t had smoothed over with Botox, Restalyne and plutonium … her baby bump! So much for the return of her face for “Rabbit Hole.”
Catherine Zeta-Jones (CSJ) – CZJ loves her some Astro Turf chic.
Lisa Chodolenko – Her next film should be SINGLE WHITE LESBIAN … starring Annette Bening.
Sandra Bullock – Bitchin’ bangs compliments of the Westminster Kennel Club. Best in show for sure.
Michael Douglas – Forget Laura Linney, he’s the real winner of the big C.
Mila Kunis – Lil CZJ ..if she were at an ‘80s prom in Queens.
Gabourey Sidibe – Her resort wear dress is available at a Bed, Bath & Beyond.
Anne Hathaway – Never mind her new gig on ‘Glee,’ Anne has a lock on playing Fallon Carrington in that new “Dynasty” movie.
Helena Bonham Carter – Rockin’ Emma Samms’ version of Fallon Carrington hair from ‘The Colbys”.
Michelle Williams – Please don’t pick the daisies!
Brad & Angelina – Every time Angelina applies lip gloss a third world baby gets adopted. She looked great,but it’s too bad by the time they made their way on to the red carpet even I was wearing an emerald dress!
Here’s the link again for Johnny’s blog. Enjoy!