“The Voice” recap: This show is an Annoying Disastrous Mess

What on Earth happened to NBC’s midseason hit talent show The Voice? The singing competition started out with great promise as it featured “blind auditions” from contestants who were judged solely on the merits of their voices by a “coaching panel” of likable Grammy winning music superstars including the funky fresh Cee Lo Green, the sexy and competitive Adam Levine, the surprisingly funny Blake Shelton and the diva herself, Christina Aguilera. They all chose teams of singers whose voices they responded to and hoped to propel to stardom. Because of these “blind” auditions, we got a lot of singers who were outside of the box and a very diverse lot. So far so good right? … Well, as soon as that section ended, the show went disastrously off the rails. First the contestants were put in battle rounds with each other as if this were a boxing match and the judges, oops coaches, then narrowed it down to 4 singers often choosing the contestant who they liked better as a “package” over the actually better singer. (For example, Blake choosing the handsome country crooner over the gay boy who sang circles around him in their boxing match). It became more and more about the coaches trying to compete with each other and get a ready-made star as opposed to finding an incredible singer. Plus the judges, er coaches, started getting really annoying with an alarmingly aggravating Christina arguing with everyone (and don’t get me wrong, I’m a big Xtina fan, just not here), Blake thinking he’s god’s gift to the show and Adam posturing to no end. Only the affable Cee Lo has remained fun to watch.
And now, we head into the live shows which are just a train wreck. First, you have the atrocious Vegas-esque set that is tacky and ridiculous. Then you have the coaches making it all about them performing a terrible medley of Queen songs. Seriously it was awful. And the show moves at a meandering, terrible pace. It’s so overproduced, manipulated and pandering, that I almost turned it off. Add to that, the host Carson Daly is perhaps the worst host in the history of competition reality shows. He’s boring, unengaged, and borderline creepy. Plus there’s the repulsive interactive social media “V” room crap with that annoying blonde reporter, I think her name was Ashley. That tweeting obsession room and commentary only served to make the show seem like a second-rate telethon… Wow, I could go on and on. It was seriously that bad. And I haven’t even gotten to the performances, which were mostly ok. Unfortunately, we haven’t learned anything much about these singers and their “journey” in the show. Therefore, we are not invested in them. It makes me wonder who and how many, if any, people will be voting… If I had to choose among the singers tonight, I would maybe pick up the phone for Beverly and Frenchie and that’s it. However, will I even care who makes it back when we wont see the four who move forward (two chosen by America, two chosen by the coaches~ this week Blake & Xtina) for another two weeks? Talk about a constant loss of momentum. I guess that’s the big problem with this show. It’s just a mess and has squandered its potential. Hopefully, they can fix things for next season… Heck, I hope it improves next week because like all good train wrecks, I can’t stop watching. So far, that is…  But the question remains:  how many more weeks will I hang on?

Now, before I go, I suppose I should do my favorite thing and countdown the performances and make some predictions from last night’s proceedings….

Ranking the Performances for The Voice, 6/7/11:
1. Beverly: wailing up a storm with the best performance of the night, Beverly rocked Melissa Etheridge’s “I’m the Only One“. She’s simply awesome and one of the few I could see myself investing in.
2. Frenchie: taking on David Guetta and Kelly Rowland’s “When Love Takes Over”, the American Idol survivor made a strong case for her survival on the show with her soaring vocals in this dance anthem. She’s also incredibly humble and likable. I’m in her corner.
3. Patrick: this attractive country crooner (who has some Broadway in him if you ask me) delivered a strong version of LeeAnn Womack’s “I Hope You Dance”.
4. Dia: with the most unique and heartfelt performance of the night, this pretty and sweet girl treated us to a great piano laden version of Kanye West’s “Heartless”. I could see this girl actually recording some cool tracks. Now, she needs to stay on pitch and work on the live performing.
5. Raquel: the teen titan was quite entertaining despite a very inconsistent vocal on Ke$ha’s current smash “Blow”. But she is no Xtina 2.0 like they made her out to be.
6. Lily: sure the girl can sing, but she does come off a little unlikable. More than that, she’s unmemorable as she proved on a lackluster version of Fergie’s # 1 smash “Big Girls Don’t Cry”.
7. Jared: the other bald rocker on the show (after Beverly that is) never got his footing on a rote and uninspired version of Kings of Leon’s Grammy winning hit “Use Somebody”. It only seemed to prove why the guy has never quite made it in the biz after all these years… and 6 kids!
8. Xenia: I’m sorry. She’s very sweet and has a nice tone to her voice, but she was utterly dreadful and hard to watch on her interpretation of Jessie J’s “Price Tag”.

Predictions~
Safe side…
America’s Votes: Patrick (Team Blake), Frenchie (Team Xtina)
Coache’s Votes: Dia (Team Blake), Beverly (Team Xtina)

In Danger…

Going Home: Xenia & Jared (Team Blake), Lily & Raquel (Team Xtina).

So, there you have it. My first recap and bitchfest about The Voice. Will I keep blogging on it? No… Oh, fine, Yes, I will… but for how long? We’ll see… And let me know who your faves were and if the show is driving you batty too!

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